Eating Disorders and Social Media

Logging on to a socail media site with an eating disorder is like being held captive in a cage and watching all of the free people run around and play. Its our own form of torture. We can pretend we're normal and at the same time hate everyone that actually is. I on the other hand actually deleted my social media account yesterday. It took some time and I had been wanting to get rid of it for a while now, but I was always afraid. Then finally something happened when I logged on and devistated me, depressed me for days. My ex best friend is PREGNANT.

         It was literrally the first thing I saw when I logged in; and I spent the rest of the day wondering how this could happen for her and not for me. For some unknown reason I am a broken woman and cannot concieve a child. So seeing people that can, especially people close to me really hits me hard. And if anyone has been on facebook lately they know that everyone is getting pregnant right now and Im not too sure why. But I will say this, if you are like me GET THE FUCK OFF OF FACEBOOK. Its only going to ruin your life and bring you down. Between the pictures of food that are constantly popping up and everyone having babies, you cant catch a break. Its like our own personal online hell.

         Why torture yourself? Do you keep it to feel normal? Well there are other sites out there that you can go to that are a lot better than facebook. For example I found a site, a social media site, that I get on way more than I ever got on facebook. Its called myproana.com. Dont let the name fool you, no one there is actually "pro ana."  From what I have found on my time there is a bunch of really nice and like minded people. There is lots of love and support there and its basically one big family. I have gotten help with many problems there. I have even met some of the girls in person! They helped me stop purging. They always let me know im not alone. It really is just the best place to be. And theres no worry of food ever coming up or pictures of pregnant friends. Its  just, awesome.

           For the record, no I do not run the site, I am not an admin on the site, I dont pay for anything on the site. I just really believe in what they are doing to help. And if they ever went away I would be devistated. 

Until next time my Flowers!
<3Bloom

Why "normal" people will never understand Eating disorders.

Recently I decided that it was going to be a good idea to tell my in laws about my ED. That didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought it was going to be. They took it pretty well. The only thing that comes with telling someone is the unavoidable question, "well why do you have an eating disorder?" Well I knew this question was coming but had no idea how to answer it. I know if I explain they wont understand, but if I don't try to explain they will never stop asking. So I tried to explain what its all about and I just got this big dumbfounded look like they had no idea what I was talking about.

        So I obviously know that you don't understand an ED unless you have an ED. No one ever gets that its about control and not about being skinny. Yes, being skinny comes with it, like an addiction. BUT for the most part its about control. People don't seem to get that when you tell them. I took a look around the Internet to try and figure out why. I want to make people understand where we come from; ESPECIALLY if you are someone who isn't looking for recovery. I just wanna stand up and be like "I'M A PERSON TOO! UNDERSTAND ME!!"


        When I set out on my journey I found some pretty disturbing stuff. Now I heard that this stuff was out there before but I never thought that anyone was serious. There are people out there that think this disease is a diet, and a lifestyle choice. This broke my heart. Like I could not believe my eyes. This is what I found: http://thinitheonlything.weebly.com/

When you go to this site this is the first thing you see.

Ana (Anorexia or Anamadim depending on who you are) Is a lifestyle choice, it is your choice to live with out food. The goal is to live on air and water, food used intermittently. Diet pills and laxatives are our saviour.


The Pledge

I pledge my obedience, to the Voice, of the Kingdom of Ana and Thins.

And to the control, for which I stand, one nation.

Under Ana.

Indestructible.

For judgement and justice for all.


With Ana we are all indestructible. It is our weapon, our strength. We will be immortal in photographs

of our thinness. Thinness is power. Power is control, which is all strength.

        This alone told me so much. First of all, NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! This is not what its like at all!! What the hell is going on in these peoples head I have no idea! This is like a satanic ED worshiping site. There are prayers and ways you can "summon" this demon? What the actual fuck? This is the reason why no one gets it! This is the reason why this disease goes untreated every day because no one takes it seriously! This is why our lives are hell! So I'd like to build awareness to help educate people and help them understand how these things happen so we can avoid them in the first place. I want to rid the world of "ANA."

If you or anyone you know is suffering, and wants help and to build awareness please email me at bloomthin@yahoo.com. We can help the world understand our side.

Until next time my Flowers!
<3 Bloom